#sitdownandwrite #noediting BE THE LIGHT

 I'm envisioning a golden orb of light. I'm following Davidji's guided instructions, having poured myself a cup of coffee, sat down on my carpet and selected the SoundCloud app with the right meditation. I'm picturing the golden globe of light traveling up and down my spine as a breath and out. What I'm honestly thinking at that moment was christ - is this evolution of the mind or is this a time sucker, something to fill in the blanks? 

I've done this meditation before, and it has helped me to focus and keep the thoughts bright. But this morning I'm thinking, people who do this, like me and maybe thousands of others, are doing this because we don't have to carry water. We don't have to keep a fire lit or even think about how to get fuel for that fire. We're not buying bits of coal, illegally harvested from ancient trees that are the cause of erosion and poor soil conditions where deforesting has given way for the coal industry. I imagine farmers also don't have time for this sitting and conjuring up golden lights. There is too much at stake, when your life depends on it.  In the former group, I'm thinking about the women I've worked along side during my Habitat and Fuller builds trips in Mozambique, Malawi, parts of India.  In American standards, I don't have much. I'm in a small house, driving a 14 year old Honda with 238,000 miles on it. I don't need to wear super trendy stylish clothes and heels and purses and accoutrements anymore. I've given away or sold most of those items in the past few years. The truth is, I have too much. Even looking around my small space, the kitchen, dining room and living room opening up via an overlarge 1970s slider to my front deck. Pretty small, and yet, do I really need all of these pots and pans? Vases? Wooden spoons? It feels like a lot to think about, the state of the world being brought full focus while I'm sitting attempting to calm the mind, be the light. I'm grateful I can turn on my faucet and water comes out. Hell, hot water comes out. I appreciate you hot water! I've never been without a refrigerator. Cool enough for my filtered water, my cheese, my half and half and my ice cream. Thank you refrigerator! I have shade trees that I'm trying to trim and cultivate so that they branch out evenly. I have a picture window that I bought at the ReStore through which I watch bees (not so many this year) monarchs (few) and hummingbirds (many!) suck the nectar. I love you wildlife! I'm feeling grateful, but also meaningless because people need water. They need shade. They need soil that they can grow things on. Will their circumstances end? I know the responses to this. Do what you can there. Be grateful for what you have. What I know for sure, something I do not question, is our connectivity. So what I am doing here does it really affect what's happening there? I am struggling, like many people. I still have too much. And obviously too much time on my hands...